How does a life coach help you?

A life coach helps you figure out what goals you want to achieve in your life, and then provides you with tools to help you move towards them. By having me as your coach, you can have someone on your side with whom you can be yourself. I will support you in affirming your sexual orientation—even if it’s just between the two of us for now. This is whether you’re a bisexual man or identify as something else under the bi+ umbrella.

Your goals may be related to exploring your sexuality, dating or coming out. Or they may be goals that have little to do with your orientation, such as finding a job you find rewarding; getting your finances in order; starting your own business; adopting lifestyle habits you find better for your health and well-being; or developing a good organizing system for work or in your everyday life. I help you move towards your goals, but I also teach you ways to progress on your own—possibly without my help or with just an occasional meeting to check in and get another person’s perspective.

Sex education and healthy relationships

I’ve been doing education on sex and healthy relationships for over 12 years, and I specialize in men’s issues related to bisexuality. By having me as your coach, I can answer your questions and show you what you should know to have a sex life and relationships that are fulfilling—I have a hunch your high school sex ed did not hand you the instruction manual for bisexuality. . . I’m familiar too with consensual non-monogamy and polyamory.

I can help you open that conversation with a partner and take your first steps on this adventure if that’s what you want. I can also help you—and possibly your partners—hone your tools if you have more experience with these relationship models. We usually do life coaching one-on-one but I can coach a couple, or even several partners. You can reach goals together, improve your communication, or develop your skills in practising consensual non-monogamy.

A life coach is not a therapist

Let’s say you play hockey and you have a coach. He gives you training routines, he watches you play, and he gives you advice on improving your performance on your team. But one day, you show up for practice and you’re limping: odds are he’s going to send you see the medic. It’s kind of the same thing in life coaching. If we come to the conclusion you have a significant emotional or relationship wound in your life, we’ll work together on finding a psychotherapist who’s right for you. You might end up continuing your journey with that person rather than with me. At the bare minimum, I will set clear boundaries with you on what is coaching and what is therapy.

You should work on healing your emotional or relational wounds with a certified psychotherapist. This therapist who is accountable to a professional body. This protects you throughout a process in which you will be vulnerable. The same applies if we realize you’re experiencing a sexual problem that could be chronic. I’m not trained in sex therapy, and you should do this healing process with someone who is certified and accountable to a professional order. My experience though as a mental health worker and as a sex educator makes me familiar with approaches therapists use: I can give you an idea of what to expect if you take this path.

How do we get started?

We will have remote meetings through video calls. We can also have these in a place like a park or a coffee shop close to my home, if you’re near Montreal (where I live) and that’s what you prefer. The first option spares us the trip and is safe during the pandemic. It provides the best privacy when you have a private space at home, and when seeing a coach won’t raise awkward questions from people you live with. The second option is more personal than a video call. Even though it’s in a public place, it can be more confidential when you’re worried someone at home will overhear our conversation. Maybe you want to keep to yourself too that you’re seeing a coach to yourself.

I offer a free, remote 30-minute first consultation. During this meeting, we talk about what brings you to see me as a coach; your life situation in short; goals you want to achieve with my support; and how many sessions we think it will take for you to make good progress towards your goals (and how often we will have those sessions). You can stop our process at any time, but estimating a number of sessions from the beginning gives you an idea of how long our process will last. This first meeting allows you to decide too if you feel comfortable doing this with me.

After that

In the next meeting, we explore the importance of the goals you wish to achieve. Then we make them specific and decide how we will evaluate your progress. We explore ways to help you move forward, and we agree on actions you will take between now and our next session. At each meeting, we will review how things went, how well you’re progressing towards your goals, and what adjustments you need to make.

My role is not to nag you if you don’t meet a goal or if you run into unexpected obstacles. My role is to be your ally in your process for change, to help you learn from your experiences, and to explore strategies with you when obstacles arise. Finally, I want to hear regular feedback on how the process is going and whether our approach is working for you, so I can adapt as necessary. I want you to be satisfied with our collaboration.

How much does it cost?

My base rate is $80 CAD for a 50-minute one-on-one consultation. If your money situation isn’t great, my rate is on a sliding scale, and I can reduce it if you show me recent proof of your income.

This is about investing in yourself. Think about how much you invest in your car, in going out with your friends, in your hobbies. Calculate these amounts. Now, how much are you investing in your goals and ambitions, your growth, yourself?

Money really is not available to everyone, and our society treats investing in ourselves as a luxury. But if you can afford it, think about how much it’s worth to live the life you’d like to live, to achieve what you want to achieve. It’s worth having a professional of growth and change to support you in achieving it.

Source of header image.